The stress of self-checkout…and self-check-in

Phrasal Verbs, English Idioms, Advanced English Conversation


Good afternoon from London

I have a confession to make:

I really dread going into my local supermarket…or any supermarket for that matter…only to find there are no human beings serving at the staffed checkout tills, and that I will have no option but to force myself to use the self-checkout machines. (“Come on, Steve, you can do it; you can, honestly; don’t get so worked up about such a silly thing.” ) On the rare occasions when I do use them, I invariably find that either I’ve paid for something twice or, more likely, I haven’t paid at all and the alarm at the exit goes off and I have to bow my head in shame like a thief who has been caught stealing.

There is, of course, always a kind member of staff supervising the self-checkout tills, poised to come to the rescue of some poor soul (me) when something goes wrong. But something goes wrong all the time; these machines seem to have minds of their own. When one machine breaks down, this seems to have a knock-on-effect; and then all hell breaks loose.

And while we are on the subject, I’m not a great fan of self check-in at airports either. Oh, how I long for the days when all you needed to do when going on holiday abroad was simply to turn up at the airport with your ticket and luggage, and a nice, friendly (usually) person would do the check-in for you.

Done!

Hecho! (as they say in Spanish).

Actually, talking of Spanish, my beloved Spanish wife does all the check-in for me, including the utterly frustrating online check-in the night before. I don’t have to lift a finger. She understands all the nonsense of what to do with your toothpaste before going through security.

Toothpaste, a security risk?

Really?

Yes sir!

Flying with my wife does have one drawback though: she insists that we must be the first to get off the plane, while I’m quite happy to let everyone else go in front of me.

She says I’m very English in this way (“No please, after you…and after you…and after you”).

After our last flight to some airport off the beaten track, I told her:

“If you think I’m going to do the same next year after the hell of self check-in and you nagging me to hurry up off the plane, you’ve got another think coming.”

“What does that mean?”

“What does what mean?”

“Another think coming; it doesn’t make sense.”

“Read my book 2 Advanced Everyday English and you will find out.”

“No thank you; I’ve got far better things to do with my time.”

Wishing you all happy self check-ins/outs.

Steve Collins